Date: 2009-11-22 14:58 Subject: (no subject) Security: Public

After calling all of the top cities on the list of shit, cities of shit someone suggested I do my own list. Seeing as how I haven't been to every city in the country, my resources are finite, and I'm 5 thousand miles from the states in a tent in a third world country this would seem to be impossible to do. This is not the case with the MAGIC of the series of tubes I call the tubetastic tittie television, which also known to librarians and other squares as the "Computer machine place".








I devised a city rating system so diabolically clever that I almost don't want to divulge it. I'm considering writing my OWN atlas of which cities are the best to live in.


The rules are simple:


1) Look at Craig's List. List first 10 items on the giveaway page. List them. That's how livable the city is. This is really the only step. The second step is just there because I felt like having two steps.


2) Even though I am positive that Vegas won't win in my system, Vegas can't win. Imagine if you will living in Vegas. It might sound cool at first if you are a major league douchebag, 17, or have never actually been to Las Vegas. Just imagine having to hear, "Whatever happens in Vegas stays in Vegas" 15 times a day for the rest of your life. If that wasn't bad enough imagine the day you have a realization that you stay in Vegas and their douche behavior stays in Vegas, so the douchbaggery of schmucks who think getting fleeced out of all of their savings by Walt Disney World is amazing and fun STAYS IN VEGAS. It all stacks up and drowns you. Salt Lake city can't win either. Fuck them

3) There was almost a third step because that makes it feel like science. There isn't a third step, but if there were it would have something to do with teen pregnancy rates subtracting from livability. I figure teen pregnancy = bad place to live. If you are from Utah where 70% of teen pregnancies happen within marriage "because god wants it that way so it doesn't count as teen pregnancy" ... yes it does. In fact I would make any intentional teen pregnancy count for double points.


Pittsburgh

Electric Dryer - (Pittsburgh) pic

Well-seasoned firewood - (Franklin Park, Pa.)

chandeliers upto 4 of them - (Pittsburgh) pic

Console TV - 27 inch - (Oakdale) pic

Wooden Waterbed - (Rostraver)

Toddler Rideable Train Set - (Mt. Lebanon) pic

Free dresser and two nightstands - (Morningside) pic

Curb Alert: Electric stove, microwave, toaster - (Brentwood)

Curb alert night stand with 2 drawers - (south side) pic

old double chaise cushion - (Mt Washington) pic




Not only is the list robust, but it's mostly good stuff. If you click on the appliances they are in working or near working order.

( Read more... )

Date: 2009-11-22 08:30 Subject: 15 Greatest Video Game Characters of All Time Security: Public

http://www.gamefaqs.com/features/nominate_entry


These are my 15 nominees. Link and Mario are not on there because Nintendo made them gay. Mike Tyson isn't on there because real people are against the rules.

Date: 2009-11-21 10:32 Subject: If You are Wondering.... Security: Public

If you want to know why we have been in Iraq for 6 years and still haven't been able to train the Iraqi army to be able to do our job so we can go home, this is a must see page. It more accurately explains the trouble with trying to train the average Iraqi than I ever could


Training Iraqis how to do PT









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Date: 2009-11-19 12:59 Subject: (no subject) Security: Public

http://community.livejournal.com/addme_adult/1175830.html?view=7178006&style=mine#t7178006


She's not a typical girl because she likes gay guys, Ipods, and knitting, but not sports!

To quote the Ladder Theory ,

If you thought something like this you are very likely the average woman. If you read it and went "Hmmm..." and then you went back to doing physics, then you have a case.


The Ladder Theory happens to be the most honest and practical guide to why people hook up I have ever seen in my life.

That aside

You are not a beautiful and unique snowflake. You are the same decaying organic matter as everyone else, and we are all part of the same compost pile. ~Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club, Chapter 17


Every time someone mentions anything wrong with 21st century America, it ultimately comes back to this.

We're all coming of age later and later because men aren't free to be men in our society. Manly and barbaric are almost interchangeable in our society, until there is a flat tire.


There is complete gender equality, until the grass gets too tall and needs to be cut.



Women have the right to be in combat, but can't be expected to uphold the same fitness standards as men because that's hard.




Men built this country by acting like men and if we turn our back on manliness now, we will leave behind everything that makes this country what it is.


Men need to be raised by men just as much as women, and most of us didn't get that, because we as Americans began to let our children be raised by public school in the 70's.




As a result we as a nation think life should be fair. We think that we are special. We think other people should care about our feelings.


It isn't, you're not, and they don't



*edit related link where I make up the insult spaztastic hyper-ninny





.

Date: 2009-11-19 11:56 Subject: Best Cities of 2009 as Rated by David Savage Security: Public

Of 379 American metro areas, here are the top ten

* New York-White Plains-Wayne, NY-NJ
* San Francisco-San Mateo-Redwood City, CA
* Washington-Arlington-Alexandria, DC-VA-MD-WV
* Madison, WI
* Seattle-Bellevue-Everett, WA
* Minneapolis-St. Paul-Bloomington, MN-WI
* Atlanta-Sandy Springs-Marietta, GA
* Chicago-Naperville-Joliet, IL
* Austin-Round Rock, TX
* Denver-Aurora, CO


O RLY?


I suspected David Savage was an idiot every time I meet someone from Pittsburgh and they tell me that they consistently win a high place on his index. I considered the possibility I don't know jack about Pittsburgh and they shut down all the steel mills and the coke plants (coal not cola).

Now I know David Savage is a fucking moron and the only taste he has is in his mouth.


Here is the one from 10 years ago when the economy was robust to prove it isn't the economy throwing this off

1 Salt Lake City-Ogden, Utah
2 Washington D.C.
3 Seattle-Bellevue-Everette, Washington
4 Tampa-St. Petersburg-Clearwater, Florida
5 Denver, Colorado
6 Raleigh-Durham-Chapel Hill, North Carolina
7 Toronto, Ontario, Canada
8 Houston, Texas
9 Minneapolis-St. Paul, Minnesota
10 Phoenix-Mesa, Arizona


Also Toronto isn't in America, dipshit


With the exception of DC, where no one can afford to live outside the ghetto, so no thank you this is just a list of DO NOT WANT.

These are the factors he claims to use:


* Cost of Living
* The Economy
* Weather
* Transportation
* Health Care
* Education
* Recreation
* Location
* Safety


* Cost of Living


This is clearly ignored

* The Economy

Nebulous how is that even measured?

* Weather

Real weather or natural disasters?
* Transportation


* Health Care


* Education
DC public schools, what?

* Recreation

* Location
As far as what? How close they are to OTHER CITIES?



* Safety
Yet you have DC when it was the murder capitol of the free world, that with Baltimore and the metro area had 1000 murders per year. They also have Houston. In the modern list they have Chicago.

Date: 2009-11-19 03:13 Subject: This Really Needs to be Said Security: Public

No matter what you do





your carbon footprint






will never be lower





than Jeffrey Dahmer





YOU ARE STILL A BAD





PERSON No matter






The size of your





Carbon footprint

Date: 2009-11-13 15:00 Subject: (no subject) Security: Public

What if the video game industry sued the government for allowing the world to be so violent, that games that mirror real world violence are upsetting to people?


I played cops and robbers when I was a kid and I don't think I am any more likely to be a cop killer as a result of it.

Date: 2009-11-11 14:58 Subject: (no subject) Security: Public

http://ladyash-5869.livejournal.com/13847.html?view=8215#t8215 <--- She thinks ghosts are real

Date: 2009-11-10 23:40 Subject: It Could Be Fun to be a Pedarast Security: Public

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,573085,00.html?test=latestnews


I wish I had something I had to find all kinds of clever hiding places for. Maybe when the government becomes a little more "protective of the children" they will ban something I want to look at.

At this point I would just like to again mention that I don't remember any specific government oppression during the Bush administration, patriot act and all, but there was a daily event under the Clinton administration that made me want to take to the hills with a high power rifle next to the anti government maniacs.

Date: 2009-11-02 12:44 Subject: Troll Alert Security: Public

http://www.tvsquad.com/2009/10/26/g4-wants-you-to-enroll-in-slasher-school/

The comments on this indicate there is either some brilliant trolling going on (doubtful) or this thread desperately needs to be trolled

Wasn't this on SNL or something with live action actors?

Date: 2009-10-31 15:50 Subject: I'm In Newark Security: Public

yum, New Jersey


I have swine flu and I think I ruptured my eardrum on the plane


Suck it

Date: 2009-10-18 21:49 Subject: Dear Mario, It's Not You It's Me ...We've Grown Apart Security: Public

There was a time when this
http://uk.gamespot.com/greatest-video-game-hero/standings/index.html
Would have been unthinkable.

For the click wary, let me spoil it:

MARIO LOST "ALL TIME GREATEST HERO" TO GORDON FREEMAN

This shows that gaming is now as much for adults as children. There is a time when Mario's would never have lost to anyone. Nintendo came very close to being a non-entity in the 4th gen console wars. There is only so many times you can repackage Mario for the same effect and doing it in 3d with a one dimensional character. This should show game companies what the community wants, and that is real characters in a real story. Stomping on mushrooms can be fun for a while, especially in a hand held timekiller platform.

For those of you who still don't have a steam account, now is the time to sign up as valve is offering:

To celebrate Gamespot's "All Time Greatest Game Hero" award to Half-Life's Dr. Gordon Freeman we are offering all Half-Life games at 55.8% off!

So why not sign up for a steam account? It's free and the half life games are ridiculously cheap right now (one less than three dollars and a few less than 5. Complete pack now 20 dollars) Best thing here, and why I love Valve is because once you buy the game on steam you own it forever. If your computer crashes, no annoying customer hostile DRM. You don't even have to keep a disk. If you buy doubles of some game from buying the complete pack you can gift one to a friend on steam
http://store.steampowered.com/news/2959/

This is good this weekend only


Valve is everything right with computer game distribution. If the RIAA had adopted this model 10 years ago they could still theoretically have some control over the market. If not for ITUNES they wouldn't have any. This is the ITUNES of games. They also distribute games that are not developed by them. If they ever go public I am buying stock that day.




IF you are already a steam user and want to add me I am clintiskeen there too.

Date: 2009-10-14 14:00 Subject: The Devil Made Me Do it the FIrst Time Security: Public

eating a cheeseburger has around the same carbon footprint as driving a Hummer for an hour

This is retarded. How can anyone believe this?

60 mph * 1 hour = 60 miles
60/15mpg = 4 gallons gasoline

Average hamburger 1/4 pound
Average beef on steer = 500 pounds
= 2000 "hamburgers" worth of beef
8000 gallons of fuel
Lets pretend just for size that you get 42 gallons of fuel from 42 gallons of crude (instead of half that)
190 of these equal one cow



(roughly three times what is pictured here)
It's not comparable

Plus I could argue that a cow has a negative carbon impact as it eats corn, which consumes CO2 It scares me how bad people are at understanding science.


Methane on the other hand....

STILL BAD SCIENCE! BAD SCIENCE NO COOKIE!

Date: 2009-10-13 23:18 Subject: Two Chat Logs ... better than nothing Security: Public

Ammon has accepted your request. Please send your questions...
Ammon: Hello, my name is Ammon. Thank you for your interest in the University of Phoenix. What degree program are you interested in pursuing?
me: BA'
Ammon: The first step is to find out some basic information so I can better assist you. This will help me determine the counselor who will be able to provide you with specific information and discuss the most current list of programs offered.
Will you please verify your full name and e-mail address and provide your phone number?
me: C Seizure clintonthemagnificent@yahoo.com
I am in Iraq so no phone
Ammon: Are you with the U.S. military?
me: Yes I am
Ammon: What is your first and last name please?
me: Clinton Seizure
Ammon: I would be happy to ask you a few questions now via chat and then have a counselor contact you at a more convenient time. How does that sound?
me: this is the only convenient time
Ammon: In what state do you currently reside?
me: resident of Maryland
Ammon: Are you a U.S. Citizen?
me: yes
Ammon: Did you earn a high school diploma or GED within the 50 United States?
me: yes
Ammon: Person.
What year did you graduate from high school?
me: 96
Ammon:Have you earned any college credit?
me: 60
Ammon: Were any of the credits earned from outside the 50 United States?
me: what is the number of the year I graduated minus my number of college credits?>

I thought you are a person... you can't solve that subtraction problem?





No reply in 15 minutes so I shut it off. I'll never know if it was a stupid person or a brilliant bot


http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/tips-moves/67-New-Blow-His-Mind_Moves-4









22. “When my girlfriend found a tear in her sheet, she pulled my penis through the hole, and we had sex with the material separating us. The fact that the only parts of our bodies that touched were our naughty bits made it feel forbidden.” —Samuel, 27
(11:10:07 PM) Internet Hate Machine: Hahahahahaha holy shit
(11:10:15 PM) ISO ARCH NEMESIS: ha ha
(11:10:17 PM) Internet Hate Machine: WE DID IT ORTHODOX JEW STYLE IT WAS SO CASH
(11:10:25 PM) ISO ARCH NEMESIS: FEELS GOOD MAN
(11:11:05 PM) Internet Hate Machine:
27. “One girl took advantage of my morning wood by climbing on top of me when I was asleep.” —Joe, 23
 
(11:11:11 PM) Internet Hate Machine: That's called rape, Joe.
(11:11:43 PM) ISO ARCH NEMESIS: you win an awesome timestamp prize
(11:11:45 PM) ISO ARCH NEMESIS:  
(11:11:11 PM) Internet Hate Machine: That's called rape, Joe.
(11:12:06 PM) Internet Hate Machine: Oh man
(11:12:20 PM) Internet Hate Machine: Coins just started spilling out of m hard drive
(11:12:25 PM) ISO ARCH NEMESIS: sweet


(11:26:45 PM) ISO ARCH NEMESIS: I found one called "PENIS TECHNIQUES"
(11:27:05 PM) ISO ARCH NEMESIS: which is basicly just the same article again
(11:27:11 PM) ISO ARCH NEMESIS: http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/tips-moves/sexy-ways-touch-him-0909?click=smart&kw=ist&src=smart&mag=COS&link=http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/tips-moves/sexy-ways-touch-him-0909-SMT-COS
(11:27:50 PM) Internet Hate Machine: 3. Take his penis between your open palms and, using your hands like ping-pong paddles, very lightly bat it back and forth. The quick touches feel invigorating and increase circulation to the surface of the skin.


(11:27:52 PM) Internet Hate Machine: wut
(11:28:04 PM) ISO ARCH NEMESIS: this is batshit out of control
(11:28:05 PM) ISO ARCH NEMESIS: 9. Give your guy a hand in the shower: Approach him from behind and rub your breasts against his sudsy back, then reach around to stimulate his penis. Grab his erect shaft using a fistlike grip with your thumb near the tip, and use an up-and-down jerking motion to mimic the way he handles himself. (Hint: Conditioner will make things more slippery.)
(11:28:12 PM) ISO ARCH NEMESIS: DO NOT USE SHAMPOO
(11:28:38 PM) ISO ARCH NEMESIS: that is just a blind disaster waiting to happen
(11:28:39 PM) Internet Hate Machine: Yeah, what the fuck
(11:29:00 PM) Internet Hate Machine: Do the writers at Cosmo not know a single man who could say JESUS ARE YOU MAD
(11:29:17 PM) ISO ARCH NEMESIS: Then grab his corona — the edge separating the head and shaft — and pull up and down, stroking just along this extrasensitive ridge.
(11:29:23 PM) ISO ARCH NEMESIS: OBVIOUSLY NOT
(11:29:45 PM) Internet Hate Machine: Fill your vagina with mace, his weiner will enjoy the extra stimulation
(11:30:33 PM) ISO ARCH NEMESIS: Hit him with a croquet mallet, he brain damage will get him loosened up, while letting him know you are a refined lady
(11:31:47 PM) Internet Hate Machine: Wire his penis to a standard car battery; guys love a lady with mechanical knowledge who's not afraid to get her hands dirty!

Date: 2009-10-11 22:20 Subject: More stuff from my made up hygine book Security: Public Tags: u

Someone commented on blue water splashing their ass from the portapotty. To avoid that lower toilet tissue down FIRST and that won't happen. This is also useful for the squat move in a public toilet. The reason people poop all over the place is to try to avoid both the splash and seat contact, instead make an "X" with the toilet paper first

Date: 2009-10-09 20:56 Subject: (no subject) Security: Public

This changes EVERYTHING.

Tomorrow when you go to shave, don't use shaving cream use hand lotion.

Next time you wipe your butt use baby wipes instead of toilet paper

Every time you shave or wipe your ass think of me

I will be writing a book on hygiene soon. it will include an entire chapter on public bathrooms

Date: 2009-10-02 21:47 Subject: Here's your change, where's your hope? Security: Public

Obama sucks and can't do anything right. How does he expect to win a war if he can't even get the stupid Olympics. Even Bush managed to get the olympics in Utah.


It's proven, Obama can and will fail. Obama is not Jesus, he's just another politician. Let's hope he does better than Bush as far as the war goes.

Date: 2009-09-26 07:18 Subject: From Today's Washington Post Security: Public

The triumph of Nazi propaganda in this period is the subject of a remarkable exhibit at the United States Holocaust Memorial Museum.


Germany in the 1920s was a land of broad literacy and diverse politics, boasting 146 daily newspapers in Berlin alone.


Yet in the course of a few years, a fringe party was able to define a national community by scapegoating internal enemies;


elevate a single, messianic leader;





and keep the public docile with hatred while the state committed unprecedented crimes.




it was radio that proved the most powerful tool. The Nazis worked with radio manufacturers to provide Germans with free or low-cost "people's receivers."




This new technology was disorienting, taking the public sphere, for the first time, into private places -- homes, schools and factories. "If you tuned in," says Steve Luckert, curator of the exhibit, "you heard strangers' voices all the time. The style had a heavy emphasis on emotion, tapping into a mass psychology. You were bombarded by information that you were unable to verify or critically evaluate. It was the Internet of its time."


User-driven content on the Internet often consists of bullying, conspiracy theories and racial prejudice. The absolute freedom of the medium paradoxically encourages authoritarian impulses to intimidate and silence others. The least responsible contributors see their darkest tendencies legitimated and reinforced, while serious voices are driven away by the general ugliness.

Date: 2009-09-24 22:19 Subject: (no subject) Security: Public

http://blog.spout.com/2009/04/30/10-mutants-who-need-an-x-men-origins-movie/



It's sad


10 Mutants Who Need an X-Men Origins Movie10 Mutants Who Need an X-Men Origins Movie

...


Northstar

It’s about time we get an openly gay superhero movie, and there’s no better character to star in such a thing than the former Alpha Flight member whose homosexuality was a major news story in the early 90s, when Marvel officially outed him. Like most of the characters on this list, Northstar too would be shown first as a bad guy, joining a terrorist group fighting for the independence of Quebec.


I couldn't make this up. The whole article reads as satire, until you realize ... this guy knows who the fuck northstar is. I don't know who Northstar is and I know who Emma Frost is.


It's like comic book guy from the simpsons is real and is blogging.




If you decide that this is, in fact, satire wade through the comments. The comments are not

I think you may have missed an opportunity on your hypothetical Dazzler movie. While a Disneyfied Dazzler might make a quick buck, you’d be missing a grand opportunity for a coke-addled ironic 80’s hipsterfied day-glow adaptation of the 1984 book-length comic “Dazzler: The Movie”.


I have no idea what to say to this


Really, really, Boom Boom over Rogue? How high are you?
Must not be thinking clearly its ok. They weren’t thinking that
clearly when they gave the Gambit part to someone without a cajun
accent, and then to cover their f¤$+ up only giving him 20 minutes of
screen time in Origins. Oh well I guess stupidity runs rampid!


I almost think this is a /b/esque troll but I know it isn't. Also to that, getting someone to call you a retard for looking like a retard is technically trolling, but only in the way that a kid accidentally hitting himself in the face with a basketball on youtube is entertainment. Even if something funny happens and you were there, it doesn't make YOU funny. http://www.gamespot.com/greatest-video-game-hero/vote/index.html?battle_id=53 Also Bub and Bob lost, because while the voting was done by robots, the election wasn't run by robots. You cheated, they cheated. get over it


either way Marvel will im sure continue to bring our childhood memories to life…


Which would be why people are so shrieking mad about the whole mess.


I heard GI Joe sucks balls.

Here's why: GI Joe required too much suspension of disbelief way back when I was completely fine with alien robots who transformed into trucks.

Date: 2009-09-23 23:09 Subject: The Midwest Security: Public

hey look! Just what I have always needed, a community for people so brain damaged they can't come up with recipes for a crock pot. Fucking serious. This is what happens when you subsidize corn production, people. You end up with a dozen states full of people just smart enough to put food in their fucking mouths.

http://community.livejournal.com/what_a_crock/













at one time or another i have made just about everything in a crock pot.... from mac n' cheese, to spaghetti sauce.


Can you cook boneless frozen chicken breast in the crock pot, Or do I need to thaw it out first? If I can put it in frozen how long does it need to cook, and is there any trick on how it needs to be cooked?


Bonus Question -- What are your favorite healthy/weight smart crock pot recipes???



I call it short cut, because I get away with using frozen veggies which saves a lot of time.




I invented this recipe myself and I call it The Stew-Out-Of-Nowhere because the only ingredient I purpose-buy for it is the meat.




I just moved across country from Phoenix, AZ to Indiana. Still in the process of unpacking and getting settled. I have a couple boxes of hamburger helper and some hamburger.






MY QUESTION:
This morning I dumped a very very very frozen whole chicken into my crockpot, and put in on low for 10 hours (That's when I'll get home)
I also put some cut up red potatos in with it, and some thyme, parsley, rosemary, and a little salt...

Will this work? I didn't do anything to the chicken, as it was, like I said, VERY frozen. I couldn't have even taken the skin off if I had wanted to.





If you were to cook frozen turkey meatballs in the crock pot all day, would you throw some spaghetti sauce in there with them?