More Keeness than Alex P. Keaton

clintiskeen @ 2009-11-11T14:58:00

2009-11-11T20:00:18Z

http://ladyash-5869.livejournal.com/13847.html?view=8215#t8215 <--- She thinks ghosts are real

It Could Be Fun to be a Pedarast

2009-11-11T04:41:02Z

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,573085,00.html?test=latestnews

I wish I had something I had to find all kinds of clever hiding places for. Maybe when the government becomes a little more "protective of the children" they will ban something I want to look at.

At this point I would just like to again mention that I don't remember any specific government oppression during the Bush administration, patriot act and all, but there was a daily event under the Clinton administration that made me want to take to the hills with a high power rifle next to the anti government maniacs.

Troll Alert

2009-11-02T17:46:19Z

http://www.tvsquad.com/2009/10/26/g4-wants-you-to-enroll-in-slasher-school/

The comments on this indicate there is either some brilliant trolling going on (doubtful) or this thread desperately needs to be trolled

Wasn't this on SNL or something with live action actors?

I'm In Newark

2009-10-31T19:51:00Z

yum, New Jersey

I have swine flu and I think I ruptured my eardrum on the plane

Suck it

Dear Mario, It's Not You It's Me ...We've Grown Apart

2009-10-18T20:04:02Z

There was a time when this
http://uk.gamespot.com/greatest-video-game-hero/standings/index.html
Would have been unthinkable.

For the click wary, let me spoil it:

MARIO LOST "ALL TIME GREATEST HERO" TO GORDON FREEMAN

This shows that gaming is now as much for adults as children. There is a time when Mario's would never have lost to anyone. Nintendo came very close to being a non-entity in the 4th gen console wars. There is only so many times you can repackage Mario for the same effect and doing it in 3d with a one dimensional character. This should show game companies what the community wants, and that is real characters in a real story. Stomping on mushrooms can be fun for a while, especially in a hand held timekiller platform.

For those of you who still don't have a steam account, now is the time to sign up as valve is offering:

To celebrate Gamespot's "All Time Greatest Game Hero" award to Half-Life's Dr. Gordon Freeman we are offering all Half-Life games at 55.8% off!

So why not sign up for a steam account? It's free and the half life games are ridiculously cheap right now (one less than three dollars and a few less than 5. Complete pack now 20 dollars) Best thing here, and why I love Valve is because once you buy the game on steam you own it forever. If your computer crashes, no annoying customer hostile DRM. You don't even have to keep a disk. If you buy doubles of some game from buying the complete pack you can gift one to a friend on steam
http://store.steampowered.com/news/2959/

This is good this weekend only

Valve is everything right with computer game distribution. If the RIAA had adopted this model 10 years ago they could still theoretically have some control over the market. If not for ITUNES they wouldn't have any. This is the ITUNES of games. They also distribute games that are not developed by them. If they ever go public I am buying stock that day.

IF you are already a steam user and want to add me I am clintiskeen there too.

The Devil Made Me Do it the FIrst Time

2009-10-14T11:15:07Z

eating a cheeseburger has around the same carbon footprint as driving a Hummer for an hour

This is retarded. How can anyone believe this?

60 mph * 1 hour = 60 miles
60/15mpg = 4 gallons gasoline

Average hamburger 1/4 pound
Average beef on steer = 500 pounds
= 2000 "hamburgers" worth of beef
8000 gallons of fuel
Lets pretend just for size that you get 42 gallons of fuel from 42 gallons of crude (instead of half that)
190 of these equal one cow

(roughly three times what is pictured here)
It's not comparable

Plus I could argue that a cow has a negative carbon impact as it eats corn, which consumes CO2 It scares me how bad people are at understanding science.

Methane on the other hand....

STILL BAD SCIENCE! BAD SCIENCE NO COOKIE!

Two Chat Logs ... better than nothing

2009-10-13T20:20:53Z

Ammon has accepted your request. Please send your questions...
Ammon: Hello, my name is Ammon. Thank you for your interest in the University of Phoenix. What degree program are you interested in pursuing?
me: BA'
Ammon: The first step is to find out some basic information so I can better assist you. This will help me determine the counselor who will be able to provide you with specific information and discuss the most current list of programs offered.
Will you please verify your full name and e-mail address and provide your phone number?
me: C Seizure clintonthemagnificent@yahoo.com
I am in Iraq so no phone
Ammon: Are you with the U.S. military?
me: Yes I am
Ammon: What is your first and last name please?
me: Clinton Seizure
Ammon: I would be happy to ask you a few questions now via chat and then have a counselor contact you at a more convenient time. How does that sound?
me: this is the only convenient time
Ammon: In what state do you currently reside?
me: resident of Maryland
Ammon: Are you a U.S. Citizen?
me: yes
Ammon: Did you earn a high school diploma or GED within the 50 United States?
me: yes
Ammon: Person.
What year did you graduate from high school?
me: 96
Ammon:Have you earned any college credit?
me: 60
Ammon: Were any of the credits earned from outside the 50 United States?
me: what is the number of the year I graduated minus my number of college credits?>

I thought you are a person... you can't solve that subtraction problem?

No reply in 15 minutes so I shut it off. I'll never know if it was a stupid person or a brilliant bot

http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/tips-moves/67-New-Blow-His-Mind_Moves-4

22. “When my girlfriend found a tear in her sheet, she pulled my penis through the hole, and we had sex with the material separating us. The fact that the only parts of our bodies that touched were our naughty bits made it feel forbidden.” —Samuel, 27
(11:10:07 PM) Internet Hate Machine: Hahahahahaha holy shit
(11:10:15 PM) ISO ARCH NEMESIS: ha ha
(11:10:17 PM) Internet Hate Machine: WE DID IT ORTHODOX JEW STYLE IT WAS SO CASH
(11:10:25 PM) ISO ARCH NEMESIS: FEELS GOOD MAN
(11:11:05 PM) Internet Hate Machine:
27. “One girl took advantage of my morning wood by climbing on top of me when I was asleep.” —Joe, 23

(11:11:11 PM) Internet Hate Machine: That's called rape, Joe.
(11:11:43 PM) ISO ARCH NEMESIS: you win an awesome timestamp prize
(11:11:45 PM) ISO ARCH NEMESIS:
(11:11:11 PM) Internet Hate Machine: That's called rape, Joe.
(11:12:06 PM) Internet Hate Machine: Oh man
(11:12:20 PM) Internet Hate Machine: Coins just started spilling out of m hard drive
(11:12:25 PM) ISO ARCH NEMESIS: sweet

(11:26:45 PM) ISO ARCH NEMESIS: I found one called "PENIS TECHNIQUES"
(11:27:05 PM) ISO ARCH NEMESIS: which is basicly just the same article again
(11:27:11 PM) ISO ARCH NEMESIS: http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/tips-moves/sexy-ways-touch-him-0909?click=smart&kw=ist&src=smart&mag=COS&link=http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/tips-moves/sexy-ways-touch-him-0909-SMT-COS
(11:27:50 PM) Internet Hate Machine: 3. Take his penis between your open palms and, using your hands like ping-pong paddles, very lightly bat it back and forth. The quick touches feel invigorating and increase circulation to the surface of the skin.

(11:27:52 PM) Internet Hate Machine: wut
(11:28:04 PM) ISO ARCH NEMESIS: this is batshit out of control
(11:28:05 PM) ISO ARCH NEMESIS: 9. Give your guy a hand in the shower: Approach him from behind and rub your breasts against his sudsy back, then reach around to stimulate his penis. Grab his erect shaft using a fistlike grip with your thumb near the tip, and use an up-and-down jerking motion to mimic the way he handles himself. (Hint: Conditioner will make things more slippery.)
(11:28:12 PM) ISO ARCH NEMESIS: DO NOT USE SHAMPOO
(11:28:38 PM) ISO ARCH NEMESIS: that is just a blind disaster waiting to happen
(11:28:39 PM) Internet Hate Machine: Yeah, what the fuck
(11:29:00 PM) Internet Hate Machine: Do the writers at Cosmo not know a single man who could say JESUS ARE YOU MAD
(11:29:17 PM) ISO ARCH NEMESIS: Then grab his corona — the edge separating the head and shaft — and pull up and down, stroking just along this extrasensitive ridge.
(11:29:23 PM) ISO ARCH NEMESIS: OBVIOUSLY NOT
(11:29:45 PM) Internet Hate Machine: Fill your vagina with mace, his weiner will enjoy the extra stimulation
(11:30:33 PM) ISO ARCH NEMESIS: Hit him with a croquet mallet, he brain damage will get him loosened up, while letting him know you are a refined lady
(11:31:47 PM) Internet Hate Machine: Wire his penis to a standard car battery; guys love a lady with mechanical knowledge who's not afraid to get her hands dirty!

More stuff from my made up hygine book

2009-10-12T04:46:09Z

Someone commented on blue water splashing their ass from the portapotty. To avoid that lower toilet tissue down FIRST and that won't happen. This is also useful for the squat move in a public toilet. The reason people poop all over the place is to try to avoid both the splash and seat contact, instead make an "X" with the toilet paper first

clintiskeen @ 2009-10-09T20:56:00

2009-10-09T18:01:55Z

This changes EVERYTHING.

Tomorrow when you go to shave, don't use shaving cream use hand lotion.

Next time you wipe your butt use baby wipes instead of toilet paper

Every time you shave or wipe your ass think of me

I will be writing a book on hygiene soon. it will include an entire chapter on public bathrooms

Here's your change, where's your hope?

2009-10-02T18:48:46Z

Obama sucks and can't do anything right. How does he expect to win a war if he can't even get the stupid Olympics. Even Bush managed to get the olympics in Utah.

It's proven, Obama can and will fail. Obama is not Jesus, he's just another politician. Let's hope he does better than Bush as far as the war goes.

From Today's Washington Post

2009-09-26T04:29:02Z

The triumph of Nazi propaganda in this period is the subject of a remarkable exhibit at the United States Holocaust Memorial Museum.

Germany in the 1920s was a land of broad literacy and diverse politics, boasting 146 daily newspapers in Berlin alone.

Yet in the course of a few years, a fringe party was able to define a national community by scapegoating internal enemies;

elevate a single, messianic leader;

and keep the public docile with hatred while the state committed unprecedented crimes.

it was radio that proved the most powerful tool. The Nazis worked with radio manufacturers to provide Germans with free or low-cost "people's receivers."

This new technology was disorienting, taking the public sphere, for the first time, into private places -- homes, schools and factories. "If you tuned in," says Steve Luckert, curator of the exhibit, "you heard strangers' voices all the time. The style had a heavy emphasis on emotion, tapping into a mass psychology. You were bombarded by information that you were unable to verify or critically evaluate. It was the Internet of its time."

User-driven content on the Internet often consists of bullying, conspiracy theories and racial prejudice. The absolute freedom of the medium paradoxically encourages authoritarian impulses to intimidate and silence others. The least responsible contributors see their darkest tendencies legitimated and reinforced, while serious voices are driven away by the general ugliness.

clintiskeen @ 2009-09-24T22:19:00

2009-09-24T19:40:22Z

http://blog.spout.com/2009/04/30/10-mutants-who-need-an-x-men-origins-movie/

It's sad

10 Mutants Who Need an X-Men Origins Movie10 Mutants Who Need an X-Men Origins Movie

...

Northstar

It’s about time we get an openly gay superhero movie, and there’s no better character to star in such a thing than the former Alpha Flight member whose homosexuality was a major news story in the early 90s, when Marvel officially outed him. Like most of the characters on this list, Northstar too would be shown first as a bad guy, joining a terrorist group fighting for the independence of Quebec.

I couldn't make this up. The whole article reads as satire, until you realize ... this guy knows who the fuck northstar is. I don't know who Northstar is and I know who Emma Frost is.

It's like comic book guy from the simpsons is real and is blogging.

If you decide that this is, in fact, satire wade through the comments. The comments are not

I think you may have missed an opportunity on your hypothetical Dazzler movie. While a Disneyfied Dazzler might make a quick buck, you’d be missing a grand opportunity for a coke-addled ironic 80’s hipsterfied day-glow adaptation of the 1984 book-length comic “Dazzler: The Movie”.

I have no idea what to say to this

Really, really, Boom Boom over Rogue? How high are you?
Must not be thinking clearly its ok. They weren’t thinking that
clearly when they gave the Gambit part to someone without a cajun
accent, and then to cover their f¤$+ up only giving him 20 minutes of
screen time in Origins. Oh well I guess stupidity runs rampid!

I almost think this is a /b/esque troll but I know it isn't. Also to that, getting someone to call you a retard for looking like a retard is technically trolling, but only in the way that a kid accidentally hitting himself in the face with a basketball on youtube is entertainment. Even if something funny happens and you were there, it doesn't make YOU funny. http://www.gamespot.com/greatest-video-game-hero/vote/index.html?battle_id=53 Also Bub and Bob lost, because while the voting was done by robots, the election wasn't run by robots. You cheated, they cheated. get over it

either way Marvel will im sure continue to bring our childhood memories to life…

Which would be why people are so shrieking mad about the whole mess.

I heard GI Joe sucks balls.

Here's why: GI Joe required too much suspension of disbelief way back when I was completely fine with alien robots who transformed into trucks.

The Midwest

2009-09-23T20:22:15Z

hey look! Just what I have always needed, a community for people so brain damaged they can't come up with recipes for a crock pot. Fucking serious. This is what happens when you subsidize corn production, people. You end up with a dozen states full of people just smart enough to put food in their fucking mouths.

http://community.livejournal.com/what_a_crock/

at one time or another i have made just about everything in a crock pot.... from mac n' cheese, to spaghetti sauce.

Can you cook boneless frozen chicken breast in the crock pot, Or do I need to thaw it out first? If I can put it in frozen how long does it need to cook, and is there any trick on how it needs to be cooked?

Bonus Question -- What are your favorite healthy/weight smart crock pot recipes???

I call it short cut, because I get away with using frozen veggies which saves a lot of time.

I invented this recipe myself and I call it The Stew-Out-Of-Nowhere because the only ingredient I purpose-buy for it is the meat.

I just moved across country from Phoenix, AZ to Indiana. Still in the process of unpacking and getting settled. I have a couple boxes of hamburger helper and some hamburger.

MY QUESTION:
This morning I dumped a very very very frozen whole chicken into my crockpot, and put in on low for 10 hours (That's when I'll get home)
I also put some cut up red potatos in with it, and some thyme, parsley, rosemary, and a little salt...

Will this work? I didn't do anything to the chicken, as it was, like I said, VERY frozen. I couldn't have even taken the skin off if I had wanted to.

If you were to cook frozen turkey meatballs in the crock pot all day, would you throw some spaghetti sauce in there with them?

Clint Kean's Question of the Day

2009-09-22T19:35:35Z

If you have a friend or SO who insists on going to shitty chain restaurants (Olive Garden, TGI Fridays, etc.) is it acceptable behavior to pass the waitress a note saying it is soandso's birthday, please make as much noise as humanly possible?

clintiskeen @ 2009-09-15T14:52:00

2009-09-15T12:33:35Z

Daddy said I think you'll be
a monkey faced girl
Go join the army
go and see the world
Never be judged
a monkey faced girl

Monkey faced girl oh oho oh oh
went to the station to play gi Joe
Sent her down to El Paso oh oh oh
right on the border with mex ex aco

No one cared she was
monkey faced girl
called her the princess
of the world
she tells a joke
they laugh and shout
because they know
that she puts out

Monkey faced girl oh oho oh oh
Overseas she had to go go go go
no other girls no no no no
treated like Jacki O O O O

Everyone knew
the monkey faced girl
they knew her oyster
they knew her pearl
something special
monkey faced girl

Monkey faced girl ho oho oh oh
made a plan to make her some dough
laid down became a ho ho ho ho
took 34 dicks in a row oh oh oh

Then they lost
monkey faced girl

because ... uh ... someone got jealous and shot her

THE END

clintiskeen @ 2009-09-08T00:30:00

2009-09-07T21:31:42Z

I can afford this

so can you, probably

http://www.comey.com/displaylist.asw?listnum=1176725&mls=cincy

Seriouszly>?

2009-08-26T04:03:08Z

At OnlineBootyCall.com we take a casual approach to dating online. Dating should be fun, not serious, that's why Online Booty Call has millions of personals for singles who love to date and booty call. Our fun and lighthearted approach means you meet local singles who date, booty call, and love being single all at the same time. With thousands of members joining daily, OnlineBootyCall is the number one casual dating site for single men and single women.

also this is for almost all of my new "friends"

The Internets, I HAV DREEM!

2009-08-24T02:47:16Z

http://www.news.com.au/technology/story/0,28348,25723022-5014239,00.html
This article is dated July 09. This is very important.

"It wasn't just anyone who left MySpace to go to Facebook," Ms Boyd, who works with Microsoft Research New England, told a crowd at New York's Democracy Forum.

"We might as well face an uncomfortable reality ... what happened was modern day 'white flight'."

If I owned Microsoft stock I would sell it based on this alone. Granted she is probably an MBA who has nothing to do with anything and is kind of the ass part of the business world, I don't trust a large company who hires people who publicly say moronic things to get attention.

Ms Boyd said MySpace had become a digital "ghetto".

* Main Entry: 1ghet·to
* Pronunciation: \ˈge-(ˌ)tō\
* Function: noun
* Inflected Form(s): plural ghettos also ghettoes
* Etymology: Italian, from Venetian dialect ghèto island where Jews were forced to live, literally, foundry (located on the island), from ghetàr to cast, from Latin jactare to throw — more at jet
* Date: 1611

1 : a quarter of a city in which Jews were formerly required to live
2 : a quarter of a city in which members of a minority group live especially because of social, legal, or economic pressure
3 a : an isolated group a geriatric ghetto b : a situation that resembles a ghetto especially in conferring inferior status or limiting opportunity the pink-collar ghetto

DAMN YOU WHITEY!! MAKING THE BLACK MAN LIVE IN MYSPACE AND NOT ALLOWING FREE FACEBOOK ACCOUNTS... wait how the fuck is this a "ghetto" by the educated definition of the word one might ask. The answer is simple, it is in no way related.

I'd say that myspace has become a digital eyesore for people who wish to wallow in animated gifs from blingee and troll for sex with the stupid.

Remember this guy?
I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.

Surely the internet is a whole world like that, yet you have this stupid cow making claims about fake racism.

What better place to be judged for nothing other than the content of your character than online? If what you are saying is true, I'm not sure what you are saying and I am pretty sure I don't want to say what you would be saying.

"The people there are more likely to be brown or black and to have a set of values that terrifies white society," she said.

Oh right I forgot the whole "white people are afriad of the phyiscal power and big black sex penis" thing. That's what this is about. Black people are so powerful that they need to be held down or the world would be run by black people and this myspace thing is just another link in the chain with which we keep the blacks in slavery and the whites in power. Seriously?

Ms Boyd also warned that the class divisions on social sites will harden over time.

OH NOES!!! WHAT DEN?

This whole thing is a joke, but why does she automatically take the view of "white flight" and not the view of WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THE PEOPLE WHO DON'T LEAVE MYSPACE? Because seriously...

I know old picture is old, but I love it still

clintiskeen @ 2009-08-22T10:23:00

2009-08-22T07:42:35Z

Too bullshit crazy not to share:

Enter Pimp City, where bling is king, and style is everything. On these streets, if your car isn't fully pimped out, you'd be better off walking. You and Xzibit will take on the challenge of hooking up your homies, and transforming their hoopties, buckets and beaters into the hottest whips on the street, while redlining through the highways and alleyways of Pimp City. You choose the mods, you choose the route, but pimpin' ain't easy. It will take speed and style to hook them up. Do you have what it takes to Pimp Their Ride? Xzibit will guide you through every stage of the pimping process - true Xzibit hilarity with lines and voice recording from Xzibit himself. Authentic people, broken rides - each mission will feature a person who truly needs their ride (and their life) pimped.

I'm not going to go too deep in this because I am sure somewhere Seanbaby has already found this and made fun of it far better than I can (for free, people pay Seanbaby to make dick jokes)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pimp_My_Ride_(video_game)

Seriously who green-lights these fucking nightmares? It's like someone found an old livejournal entry from my journal where I am trying to mix sarcasm and gin and just coming off kind of retarded, then retooled by a bunch of MBAs who went to 7 years of college to end up on the Pimp My Ride the GAME project, THEN run through a focus group of 12 year old/b/tards who only know Xzibit as that guy from the meme.

(If you don't think this is funny it is because you are not a fucking idiot. The first time I saw the Xzibit meme about a car in a car I think its unfunnieness actually confused me into thinking it must be some kind of un-joke or the like)

Image changed because seriously the Xzibit meme is so shitty Xzibit isn't even amused

clintiskeen @ 2009-08-22T09:36:00

2009-08-22T07:22:30Z

What the fuck is wrong with people who don't drink?

Anyone who likes starbucks is a fucking moron

http://twitpic.com/dcjur

Now I just learned there is something called a milk bar. NO it is not:

That would be rad

It's not even a regular bar where almost everyone is holding in a fart or about to be physicly ill for playing truth or dare with their stomach all night and selecting only dare.
http://www.korovamilkbar.com/site/

No, this is for cunts who also think getting spun up on caffeine might be too god damn much.

I have never heard of an illiterate guy saying he doesn't need books to learn then hanging out in a blockbuster striking up conversations.

Seriously what the fuck is wrong with these people?

clintiskeen @ 2009-08-19T09:18:00

2009-08-19T06:47:19Z

Confirmation that translationparty.com cheats

Clint is tricky like a tiger
into Japanese
クリントは虎のようなトリッキーです
back into English
Eastwood is a bit tricky as the tiger
back into Japanese
イーストウッドは少しトリッキーですトラとして
back into English
Eastwood as a tiger is a little tricky
back into Japanese
イーストウッドは少しトリッキーなのは虎だ
back into English
Eastwood is a little tricky for Tiger
back into Japanese
イーストウッドのタイガーは少しトリッキーです
back into English
Clint Woods is a little tricky
back into Japanese
クリントウッズは少しトリッキーです
back into English
KURINTOUZZU is a little tricky
back into Japanese
KURINTOUZZUは少しトリッキーです
back into English
KURINTOUZZU is a little tricky

HOW DID IT KNOW MY NAME WAS CLINT?

Actually it translates my name often as Eastwood for some reason

Clint is on fire
into Japanese
クリント燃えている
back into English
Eastwood live
back into Japanese
イーストウッドライブ
back into English
Eastwood live

Kind of weird

Clint is hotter than a half fucked fox in a forrest fire
into Japanese
クリント暑いよりも半フォレストキツネ火の中にめちゃくちゃだ
back into English
What a mess in a fire than a semi-hot Clint FORESUTOKITSUNE
back into Japanese
半よりも、火災に熱いクリントFORESUTOKITSUNEにはどのような混乱
back into English
Than half, Clint FORESUTOKITSUNE fire is hot any confusion
back into Japanese
半分は、クリントFORESUTOKITSUNE火災の熱の混同され
back into English
Half, Clint FORESUTOKITSUNE been confused in the heat of the fire
back into Japanese
半分は、クリントFORESUTOKITSUNEは、火の暑さの中で混乱して
back into English
Half, Clint FORESUTOKITSUNE, and confusion in the heat of the fire
back into Japanese
半分は、クリントFORESUTOKITSUNEと、火災の暑さの中で混乱
back into English
Half, Clint FORESUTOKITSUNE and confusion in the heat of the fire
back into Japanese
半分は、クリントFORESUTOKITSUNEと、火の暑さの中で混乱
back into English
Half, Clint FORESUTOKITSUNE and confusion in the heat of the fire
Equilibrium found!
Shame on you, by the way.

clinton kicks more ass than an electrified ass kicking machine
into Japanese
クリントン大統領は、電化ロバのマシンよりも多くの尻蹴るキック
back into English
Clinton, kick-ass kicking ass more than the electric car
back into Japanese
クリントン大統領は、目を見張るの詳細は、電気自動車よりもお尻を蹴っ
back into English
Clinton is more amazing, kick his ass than the electric cars
back into Japanese
クリントン大統領はさらに、電気自動車よりも彼のお尻をける素晴らしいです
back into English
Clinton also is a great kick his ass from his electric car
back into Japanese
クリントン大統領も彼の偉大なキックはお尻からの電気自動車です
back into English
Kick him in the great President Clinton is from the bottom of the electric car
back into Japanese
キック、彼は偉大な大統領には、電気車の下からです
back into English
Kick, a great president he is from the bottom of the electric car
back into Japanese
キック、彼は電気自動車の底からは、偉大な大統領
back into English
Kick him from the bottom of the electric car is a great president
back into Japanese
彼のキックは、電気車の下からは素晴らしい社長です
back into English
His kick, from the bottom of the electric car is a great president
back into Japanese
電気車の底から彼のキックは、偉大な大統領である
back into English
His kick from the bottom of the electric car is a great president
back into Japanese
電気車の底から彼のキックは素晴らしい社長です
back into English
His kick from the bottom of the electric car is a great president

let's go!
I drink after people with cold sores
into Japanese
私は冷たい飲み物後痛のある人々
back into English
I have some pain after a cold drink and
back into Japanese
私は冷たい飲み物の後に少し痛みがある
back into English
I have a cold drink after a little pain
back into Japanese
私は少し痛みを後に、冷たい飲み物を飲む
back into English
I have some pain later, take a cool drink
back into Japanese
私は後に、冷たい飲み物を取る少し痛みがある
back into English
After I have a little pain to get a cold drink
back into Japanese
後、私は冷たい飲み物を取得するには、少し痛みがある
back into English
After I get a cold drink to have a little pain
back into Japanese
後に少し痛みがあるには冷たい飲み物を取得
back into English
After a bit of a pain to get the drinks are cold
back into Japanese
痛みを少し後、冷たい飲み物を取得している
back into English
After a bit of pain, and get a cold drink
back into Japanese
痛みの少し後、冷たい飲み物を取得
back into English
After a bit of pain, get a cold drink
back into Japanese
痛みの少し後、冷たい飲み物を取得
back into English
After a bit of pain, get a cold drink

the ones you expect to turn out crazy aren't

my penis is bigger than a child's fist
into Japanese
私の陰茎は、子供の握りこぶしより大きい
back into English
My penis is larger than the fist of a child
back into Japanese
私のペニスは子供のこぶしよりも大きい
back into English
My penis is larger than the fist of a child

I'm going back to cali, I don't think so
into Japanese
私はカリに、私はそうは思わないよ
back into English
I was in Cali, I would not say that I
back into Japanese
カリしていた私は、そうは思わないよ私
back into English
I had Cali, but I think I
back into Japanese
私はカリしていたが、私
back into English
I had to Cali, I
back into Japanese
私はカリにいた私は
back into English
I was in Cali I will
back into Japanese
私はカリしていた私は
back into English
I had my potassium is
back into Japanese
カリウムいた私です
back into English
I am a potassium
back into Japanese
私は午前カリウム
back into English
I am potassium
back into Japanese
私は午前カリウム
back into English
I am potassium

Fantasy Football D+D for Kids Who Beat Up D+D Kids

2009-08-17T01:50:34Z

My fantasy football team is named "Sexual Tyrannosaurs"

One of my co-workers named his the "Bears"

He printed up a bears thing and put it up in the office so I put up this picture

with "Sexual Tyrannosaurs, fuck a bear"

Then he put up some other dumb da bears shit so I made:

"Sexual tyrannosaurs, cooler than you will ever be" and another picture of a growling t-rex that said "Sexual Tyrannosaurs, like rape FROM A FUCKING DINOSAUR"

last.fm

2009-08-16T01:56:41Z

I saw a last.fm group for linux users. The #1 band they had listed based on plays was radiohead.

Talk about someone you don't want at your party.

I may be a linux user, and I may be a libertarian, but at least I'm no radioheadfag.

I'm pretty sure the worst person on earth would be a Green Party voter, who is a Peta member and lists their likes as radiohead and open source.

WHAT ELSE WOULD THEY LIKE TO TALK ABOUT?

Can AI Become Pretentious?

2009-08-15T04:14:01Z

Remember this:http://gnoosic.com/ ?

I think that allowing it to run for 6 years has made it a douchebag.
It couldn't pass a turing test, but neither can most indie rocker wannabe shitheads. I tried to throw gnoosic a curveball (see below) and it zinged me back with several bands I have never heard of. Incidentally, just like indie rock "experts" it actually knows nothing about what the hell its talking about when correcting people. Snoop Dogg is not properly corrected to "doggy", it is in fact the other way around. I REMEMBER WHEN NINE TRIZZY WAS THE YIZZY HE WAS STILL THE DOGGY DOGG BITCHES I THINK I KNOW HIS MOTHER FUCKING NAME

Your Favorites:

snoop doggy dog
grateful dead
hank williams iii
You dont know:

asylum street spankers
centro-matic
drive-by truckers
Chuck Prophet
American Minor
Whiskey Hounds
Tab Benoit
devil makes three
wayne hancock
symarip
Unknown Hinson

Seriously, though who the hell are these acts?

Writer's Block: Memo to Myself

2009-08-11T07:09:58Z

If you could travel back in time, what advice would you give to your younger self?

View 550 Answers

I was actually thinking about this earlier:

Age 1: LOLZ U CANT READ THIS! LErN 2 NOT SUCK, N00b!

Age 5: You are just as stupid for thinking there are alligators in the sewer as the kids who are afraid of monsters. You never even see an alligator outside of the zoo for another 9 years.

Age 6: It's way funnier to yell "Fart!" at this age than to attempt writing jokes to amuse your peers.

Age 7: Be nice to the girls, ALL OF THEM. Some of them are going to put out later and NONE of them will forget if you get them tagged with a nickname.

Age 8: The principal who paddles you every day also beats his wife. He's messing around with one of the PTA moms. Her husband will blow his brains out in front of her, use this to your advantage.

Age 9: It's Liz W, not Liz H who likes you. She won't always be goofy looking. Try not to pretend to play footsies with her while you write all over her new shoes with a marker you have placed in your shoelaces

Age 10: You don't realize it, but you are hitting puberty early. This is not an excuse to get in one millionty twelve fights. It's just testosterone flowing through your veins, you are not in fact invincible. Go to the library and look up something called "masturbation" all the cool kids will be doing it in a couple of years. Don't admit to it until you are 14. I'm not sure why, though.

Age 11: All of your albums suck except for G+R Appetite for destruction and REM Fables of the Reconstruction. Throw them away, especially Def Lepard. Start listening to the Stray Cats again, you'l probably always like rockabilly. I'm not telling you what bands from this era you discover later and like because listening to them at 11 will probably make you gay. Look into something called "NWA"

Age 12: Paul may not be the coolest guy in school, but stick by him. He ends up being your best friend 4 LIFE.

Age 13: You're not that different, you just feel that way because teenagers are douchebags. Everyone around you feels really insecure and that is what makes you "different". Exploit their lack of confidence whenever you can.

Age 14: You will get your first "real" job this summer. Make sure you put 500 dollars in something called "Best Buy" By the time you are 16 you should be able to afford a car based on this alone

Age 15: Cut your fucking hair. I know it isn't cool now, but it will be. Either way you don't have the hair or spend the time on your hair to have long hair.

Age 16: All of the "depression" you are going through is teen angst. You are a douchebag. Buy a car. Get off the damned farm. You'll be fine.

Age 17: Get your grades up, it turns out they aren't all full of shit.

Age 18: Your community college academic advisor is a moron, they all are.

Age 19: Lizards can't drink beer, Don't drop out of college. It would take you 5 years to get back and do it. Take all the money you are making waiting tables and put it in something called yahoo, sell it all at the beginning of 2000 and sell it short in august 2000.

Age 20: Hopefully by this point you have listened to at least one thing I told you, but even if you haven't and nothing has changed, don't even THINK about getting married or moving to Louisiana

after this you are on your own, just remember a few things:

Don't yourself or let anyone invest anything in anything that says "Screw you, NY on it" especially if the world trade towers are incorporated in the design. You'll find out why later. "Screw you NY" was your idea. You are an idiot.

The Ravens beat the Giants in 2001. If you bet your yahoo money from the beginning of the season it should be at pretty good odds. Use the winnings to buy something called google (not googol this is important) It's like yahoo, but not for fags. You should be OK on money for good on this. You may not be set up for life, but enough so that you don't want to sell your house to join the army. I know you hate the US Military industrial complex with all your "political" little heart, but something changes that. Support the troops, but don't be one.