More Keeness than Alex P. Keaton

Fri, 08 Jan 2010 01:41:17 GMT

OPS opp

If you are a core level Clintfirend (if you are you don't have to ask. If you aren't you don't have to ask (well NT might ask anyway))

Pimp book_snark and you get OPS. Post in this thread to let me know you did.

If you aren't core level, pimp and comment anyway. I might give you ops. If we met this week your chances are poor.

If You Care if I See Your Shit

Thu, 07 Jan 2010 22:31:08 GMT

Please stop using tinypic it is banned by my ISP :(

I think their site probably allows for embedding malicious code that tricks your browser into thinking it is downloading pictures.

Come to think of it if you are a firefox user you should probably right click on a picture and block tinypic for this reason

Not Everything I Do is Trolling Just Because I Do Not Agree With You

Thu, 07 Jan 2010 01:24:16 GMT

Feminists always show their dumb on a long enough timeline.

I joined wtf_sexism which was all coolio at first but now is just every other stupid lj feminist community.

http://community.livejournal.com/wtf_sexism/97875.html

These people have such a SPECIAL view on reality They say I am not still in the army. I got out and can't get a job. I can't even argue with them because I can't tell their crazy from possible trolling.

Mon, 04 Jan 2010 21:37:43 GMT

Dear old people in the ad biz, I know that thirty years ago you changed the way people think about TV commercials, but it's not thirty years ago and the internet is not a TV no matter how much you want to passively beam information at me. If your service is geared to people unsatisfied with their internet connection speed a data intensive flash splash is not needed.

If you are selling anything to anyone a flash splash is probably not needed, but if you're selling solutions to people unsatisfied with their 3g modems that's kind of like having an outdoor symposium to sell products to agoraphobes.

Fri, 01 Jan 2010 22:15:44 GMT

View Poll: #1505996

Fri, 01 Jan 2010 21:33:39 GMT

Remember the dumb cunt moderator who through me out of a snark community for being too snarky (yes that really is what happened, I am not being dramatic)

I made my own. Mine will be better.

Feel free to join or not join

http://community.livejournal.com/book_snark/profile

So far it's just me and my whiff.

When I get up to about 500 members I am going to submit it to LJ spotlight

Even if They Existed Iraqi Versions Would Suck

Thu, 31 Dec 2009 21:35:01 GMT

As of my writing it is 2010 here and it is last year where you the reader are. I am enjoying my flying car and hovering skateboard. Have fun in the past,

Love,
Clint

Thu, 31 Dec 2009 12:19:26 GMT

Posted here before she had a chance to delete the post. TST is of course one of my sock puppets as I am banned from there for calling her a cunt.

In the Lulz Front For Today

Wed, 30 Dec 2009 22:59:55 GMT

Why your bank account may have a 0 balance tomorrow and how you can get in on the class action lawsuit against the OMG HACKZOR who h4x0red all of facebook

Rockyou makers of many facebook and myspace aps like superwall and touchyourselfaloneinthedark are fucking fucktards. Not only are they on par with your average page from 1995 with animated torches in the area of digital security, but they probably just gave away your e-mail address and your password.

http://www.rockyou.com/help/securityMessage.php

Our users' privacy and data security have always been a priority for RockYou and we strive to keep them secure. Our users have confidence in our services and we will continue to ensure that confidence is deserved.

As we previously explained, one or more individuals illegally breached one of our databases that contained the usernames and passwords for about 32 million users in an unencrypted format. It also included these users' email addresses. This database had been kept on a legacy platform dedicated exclusively to RockYou.com widgets. After learning of the breach, we immediately shut the platform down to prevent further breaches.

They had a site that allowed SQL injection hacking. That's where instead of logging in you type some shit (Or way more likely a retarded script kiddie who found someone else's code laying around copies and pastes it) into the login bar. Then the computer hands control of the website over to the "Hacker". The "hacker" (I can't bear to use the word without quotes because it's cracking, not hacking, and it's copy pasting script, not cracking) anyway the hacker was given 32 million emails complete with passwords but without encryption of any kind, which presumably was maintained in a giant .txt file edited in MS word pad by my mother and the old lady at the library who turns the computers on in the morning.

Seriously, my emails to my wife are encrypted all the way to the server and those are all just HEY I BOUGHT A VIDEO GAME TODAY AND I CAN'T WAIT UNTIL WE ONCE AGAIN HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY FOR SEXUAL INTERCOURSE. I encrypt that and as most emails no one wants to read that, save (possibly) the recipient. That's encrypted, but 32 million emails NOT ENCRYPTED!!!(if you have facebook or myspace yours was probably one)

They were so fucking fucktarded there is a class action lawsuit against them for negligence and general idiocy

For each of the following give yourself one point

1) I am a moron
2) I like facebook/mysppace/orkut/friendster or whatever enough to have an accound
3) I bank online
4) I have ever made a purchase online
5) I have a "life password" (same 1 or 2 passwords for everything)
6) I have paypal
7) I still don't understand what SQL injection is

if you got 1 -5 points change all of your passwords to everything right the fuck now.

If you got 6 or more, don't bother. Your money is already gone. Also HAHAHHAHHAHHAHA moron

I just bought BOTH Max Payne games for less than 4 bucks. Thanks again, steam holiday sale!

Today Only on Steam

Mon, 28 Dec 2009 22:14:48 GMT

The hits just keep on coming people

BIOSHOCK IS NOW ON SALE FOR $4.99

The orange box which was heralded as the best value in the history of gaming is %50 percent off

Seriously if you haven't played bioshock it is a must play. Amazing. I can't comprehend why anyone who has ever played a game on a computer isn't downloading. I'm buying games I won't be able to play until March.

Bioshock is on the plate because the deal on Prey was so good they sold out of DIGITAL COPIES (no shit go look)

Mon, 28 Dec 2009 00:09:22 GMT

Livejournal really is stupid about its ads. It thinks I speak spanish. I don't see how they can not just run google ads in the margins. ...

It's odd thinking about separating from the army. I'm stop lossed and in a war zone, but I am used to that. I am used to not being able to pick what clothes I wear. This is why people get trapped in the army. The army will tell you who you are and where you need to be. I'm kind of unsure of my next move because the sheer number of opportunities in front of me. When you are in the army people want to throw jobs at you because they know you can work long hard hours.

I don't even know where I want to live.

I have enough money to buy a house and live in Cincinnati (outside in Kentucky, not in the ghetto) I would own my own home at 32 and be able to screw around, work part time and do whatever I want like finish writing a book and grow tomatoes in the back yard, work on *MY* house, work on my car, collect on my GI bill and get paid to go back to college and generally not worry about shit.

I could use my Boss's connections in my home town and get back in the rat race in the heart of the east coast working in a hospice. I love my home town, but shit is SO expensive there I would have to commute or live in the ghetto. My home town is pretty clean, though so the ghetto isn't as bad as all that as long as you are willing to shoot the first guy who gets in your shit, they will leave you alone.

I could become a merc. They make 6+ figures a year and most of it is non taxable. I could work for a couple years as a gun for hire for uncle sam, doing what I know and getting rich enough to go back home and buy a house and dick around.

I could ride the back of an ambulance as an EMT.. My certification is still good, and some places are offering 50k a year to drive the truck. I can do this anywhere people get sick or hurt.

Spending 5 years in the army is weird. It's kind of like being in jail for 5 years. I can't even find shoes to wear for my new life, because they don't make what I wore anymore.

THe 6" premium Timberlands don't come in non faggot colors anymore, and my old fallback Dr. Martens union made Air Ware boots are all made of shit in China. They still sell "original spec 1460s" at 180 dollars. I remember when Docs were half that. That's why we all had a pair. Now most of them are cheap shit, good for don't look at my little tits look at my legs in my sexy evil nurse outfit

for a hundred and twenty dollars on amazon

but aren't good for daily wear like the old school ones

When I joined the army I had a pair of docs that had 4 years of daily wear on them. I never hold still for long, so my daily wear is brutal. Those boots saw hours of waiting tables, walking home from work and the works. The tread was a little worn and the inner sole on the right one had a little crack, but they had another 2 years of DAILY wear in them. While I was in AIT someone stole them. At the time I though who gives a damn, if they needed them that badly I would have given them away had I been asked. I didn't know that two years prior the manufacturing plant shut down and moved to China. I'm thinking of getting a pair as my daily wear for when I get out because they have a new Dr Marten out called the 1460 hardlife

For Dr. Martens, delivering value for money does not mean making things cheaper. It means giving you a product which will last. Every pair of FOR LIFE boots and shoes comes with a lifetime guarantee. When they wear out, we will repair or replace them - and we'll go on repairing or replacing them for the rest of your life - guaranteed.

They even have the old school box formation not the 4 point style we became used to.

Even so do I get the I'm still punk rock black?

or the I'm 32 now and I am willing to be part of your company as long as you let me wear Docs light brown?

Don't even get me started on pants.

Sun, 27 Dec 2009 12:36:52 GMT

WTF is the deal with teenage juggalos?

http://articles.mcall.com/2009-10-24/news/4463753_1_insane-clown-posse-four-men-snitch

ICP were lame back in the 90s. They've been around for how long? Seriously the kids need to quit being so gay. A novelty clown act is allowed to not only exist in the first place but allowed to have a decade long career and a dynasty of spin off acts?

http://www.wikihow.com/Be-a-Juggalo

Faygo is mentioned in alot of the ICP song lyrics. have a few while chillin with your homies.

I would wager that if you are a "Juggalo" you don't have any "homies" you just have a bunch of other maladjusted losers who also have no one better to hang around than you with nothing but a mutual interest in these guys keeping you together.

That doesn't have loser written all over it at all...

There is a more pathetic animal than the juggalo, and you have the juggelette. Think how Harley Quinn went along with everything the Joker wanted to do because she was in love with Joker and hated her life before he came along and brainwashed her.. Well imagine that Harley was 3rd generation trailer trash with greasy stringy mousy hair, bad skin, with doughy features from poor diet and that the Joker isn't a criminal mastermind, but instead this guy:

I have trouble thinking that young women could really find ICP's sophomoric junior high boys locker room humor that amusing, and anyone can tell you the music is just a vehicle for the gimmicky jokes. This means juggalettes are the saddest scene girls ever. They know they can't ever hope to achieve gothic royalty or Avril Lavine poseur punk status and instead settle for the ultimate bottom of scenes. Girls too ugly to go pose in the geek underground with a guy who is as socially adept as a juggalo, but almost infinitely more likely to work at Wal Mart's nerve center running the IT for the largest retail chain in america than shagging carts in front of one like his Juggalo counterpart.

you may think you are awesome but you really look like this

This looks like what happens when you pass out after getting drunk and saying that ICP is the best band ever, I guess

huge picture of fail http://api.ning.com/files/ez9bV347QuLfjLf2hB5*xsrdwx7gXDqRjqAqnk0lQide48Me7qAv8QMWpoyiOPEflFjFjyDn7ak7SWNniQm3eahMvFLp9Pxq/21.jpg

imagine if your daughter brought this home while painted like a clown?

What happened to that nice young man with the motorcycle and the face tatoos? I liked him a lot better.

I Guess They Have Christmas Everywhere

Fri, 25 Dec 2009 09:19:54 GMT

Merry Christmastime from Iraqtown.

If you feel stressed out about not living up to your parent's expectations just remember, if you really cared about their pride that much you could be in an Asian desert subcontinent with flies crawling on your face dealing with the worst human beings on the planet 7000 miles from your wife. Everyone is very proud of me, though. Just so you know, you can't buy a house with smiley face stickers and army medals.

I was tempted to put the Bon Jovi cover up as part of a running bash I have going on New Jersey, but it is Christmas. New Jersey is off the hook for today

I Don't Know Why I am So Good to You

Wed, 23 Dec 2009 10:12:53 GMT

http://store.steampowered.com/

I know why. Writing this where other people can see it, transparency if you will, makes me feel more legitimate about spending money. If I can justify it to strangers on the internet with no reason to not call me a douche it must be OK. I feel a bit wasteful because I've spent about 100 dollars (13 dollars a month averaged) this year amassing games I can't play because I'm on dial up speed and it would take me 2 weeks (72 hours without kickoffs) to download even the small games.

I have mentioned Steam about 100 times in the last month because of incredible savings. They have out done themselves for the holiday sale. 75%off GTA4 for 7 dollars.90% off S.T.A.L.K.E.R. for $1.99 (Yes two dollars). I don't know why I am telling you because you stupid cow brained sods just continue to think, "Oh but I have to download something? That sounds like work" Luxor 3 the game where you shoot colored balls, the one that is popular enough to come bundled with the xbox360 is 99 cents. 80 of the most popular retro atari games bundled for $5 Both Oddworld games for $2.49 or one for $1.87(These are must play games. I own them both)

What I am most likely going to buy

Braid- game that is making people who don't play indie games play and indie game - $2.49

GTA4(today only) - highest metascore rated game ever cost 100 million to make - $7.49
(Because I will control myself and not buy the megapack with Max Payne 2 and all the other GTA games)

Empire total war This is a game I am most likely to buy, but I probably won't even though it is new and half price. I just have TOO MANY OTHER GAMES TO PLAY - $24.99

Rome Total War Gold - this is most likely the compromise to keep me from buying the current gen verison $2.49

I'm considering buying this one for another account and selling it on Ebay in 4 months I'd buy it myself but I already own Batman. For the price of Batman in the store you get that and 22 other games including a newish tomb raider, dues ex, the three newest hitman games. You can't go wrong here. That's seriously like 400 dollars worth of games if purchased in the store. Steam has them for less than 50 That's about 2 dollars a game. That's RENTAL PRICE

Honorable mentions

Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six $4.99 Hard game is hard

Torchlight $9.99 I *might* like this but it is a little too WOW for me. They are in fact releasing a MMORPG of this later on. I would buy it if there was co-op

Evil Genius $1.99 Funny little game based on Bond Villany. Does not work well with Linux

Action Indie Pack $4.99 Cheap Games

World of Goo $4.99 Everyone seems to think this is sliced bread. Who am I?

Medieval II: Total War 4.99 Already own

Ghostbusters: The Videogame $6.79 I heard it was good

The Witcher: Enhanced Edition $13.59 This looks good, but just not good enough to add to my overfilled plate. I have Batman and Dragon Age to play when I get back, yo. Also holy shit Dragon Age

.

Anonymity and Trolling

Wed, 23 Dec 2009 00:11:14 GMT

Read Write Wrong

http://www.readwriteweb.com/archives/are_trolls_ruining_social_media.php

I'm sick of the assertion that people troll because of the "anonymous nature of the internet, which is a series of tubes where no one has faces" This is retarded. First we must do something the idiots who say this don't and draw a distinction between TROLLING , RAIDING/ATTACKING and regular BEING A DICK ON THE INTERNET. I understand the lines get blurry because people who troll are likely to be dicks, etc.

Those who raid and or attack wish to be anonymous. There is a good chance what they are doing is illegal. People who do illegal things don't like to leave their signature on it. A DNS attack is NOT trolling. Harassing phone calls are not trolling. Both can produce the LULZ and that is important to the confusion. Guys doing this sort of thing are doing it for the lulz, as are trolls, but that does not make them trolls. People who make photoshop pictures of whatever are doing it for the lulz and are also not trolls.

People being a dick on the internet are NOT doing it for the lulz. These people are NOT going to be scared away by being known. I tell people they suck on every opportunity I get on livejournal. Let's say I am on the bus. I am far more likely to keep my mouth shut, but I am for all intents and purposes anonymous. No one knows my name, or anything about me other than I am wearing some obnoxious t shirt. The reason I am not an ass on the bus is because we are in a social contract where we are civil to each other because none of us want to be on the bus in the first place. We all want our own personal flying cars, but we're on the bus instead. On livejournal I am anything but anonymous. With ease someone can know my name, my hobbies, my everything, yet I still tell people to suck it. The reason is there is no social contract with these people. Some of them might be the same people who ride the bus, but I don't care I have no social obligation to them. If they decide to write a whole thing about my how wonderful their sexual fetish is I can tell them to drop dead. It's not because I am anonymous, it's because I don't have any kind of implied deal with them. I might lean into the punch a little more because I WANTED to say something like that to the person I had the social contract with. The "trolls" aren't the problem. The problem is that people have no idea how to handle honesty. We're not an honest culture. No culture which has progressed sitting in mud and fishing is honest, but online we're free to be honest. As long as I am being honest why hide who I am?

Trolling is a different thing altogether and is only for the lulz. Don't lose your shit when trolls show up. Saying DON'T FEED TROLZ is feeding the trolls and proving yourself to be a moron at the same time. The NY TIMES had it a lot closer

In the late 1980s, Internet users adopted the word “troll” to denote someone who intentionally disrupts online communities. Early trolling was relatively innocuous, taking place inside of small, single-topic Usenet groups. The trolls employed what the M.I.T. professor Judith Donath calls a “pseudo-naïve” tactic, asking stupid questions and seeing who would rise to the bait. The game was to find out who would see through this stereotypical newbie behavior, and who would fall for it. As one guide to trolldom puts it, “If you don’t fall for the joke, you get to be in on it.”

Trolling is a prank and calling the prank out is ghey. Most users are trying to prove how smart they are, but all they are proving is they are so stupid they were almost tricked by something comically easy to catch. It's like being that "clever" guy who shouts out punchlines to other people's jokes and ruins the timing. Perhaps that person is instead the guy who shouts out the solution to the tricks the magician at the kids birthday party and ruins it for the children. Whatever you like. Any way you slice it, they are doing something that will probably make someone be a dick on the internet to them

Happy trolling,
Clint

Mon, 21 Dec 2009 07:15:55 GMT

I googled Brittany Murphy this morning totally expecting some prank from the internet hate machine. Instead I found this poorly written unedited shit

http://www.examiner.com/x-28102-Chicago-Entertainment-Scene-Examiner~y2009m12d20-Questions-still-surround-Brittany-Murphys-death

all I can say is this

*edit original with tony dungy not as funny

In hindsight I think it might have been funnier without Tony Dungy

*Edit, yes it is

Seriously Livejournal

Sun, 20 Dec 2009 21:49:41 GMT

How are you seriously in such bad shape profitwise that you are going to risk users with your random flash ads? The bandwith for running your little service can't be that bad as you don't even host the pictures and video locally (except for your users who PAY for this). The model right now for facebook games is that they try to make an average of 7 cents per user from click ads. How is it that mafia wars can reach this goal and you, livejournal, who have access to TONNES (bigger than american standard tons) of information about me can't beat what mafia wars can come up with based solely on guessing by demographic. I tell you once a week about either my favorite bands, movies, or tv shows. I tell you what purchases I plan on making in the near future. I've even told you about plans to buy a house. If I were on prescription medicine or taking supplements I would tell you about that too. I tell you about my life in such minute detail that you probably have more information compiled on my buying habits than my closest friends. How can you think flash ads are the way to go? Unless ... I've suspected for years that you may be FUCKING RETARDED. Please say it isn't so, please tell me you were smiling when I told you about my day because you were entertained. Please tell me that you're quiet because you are thinking. Please say it isn't so. Please tell me that you don't just love me because you're too fucking simple to dislike anything, livejournal. Fuck. That's why you have a pet goat isn't it livejournal. That's why you were given a pet that feeds itself and lives in the yard. It all makes sense. Please it doesn't help that you're wearing a superman suit and smiling while I'm talking to you.

FIVE BEST

Sun, 20 Dec 2009 10:20:12 GMT

Running with the recent motif of FIVE BEST here are the five best songs and movies about Christmas.

Songs first because I am going to botch this all to hell. I'm going to pick some songs because this is impossible. Every punk band from 1980-1990 had a punk Christmas album and while they were probably meant to be their big commercial success they ended up being the forgotten "underground" stuff. I remember Mojo Nixon doing something about a jew who was good and worked with the wood or something, and Christmas time for my penis, etc. but those are all bits and pieces for lack of airplay. Perhaps next year as my present to the world I will compile and upload some christmas compilations

5)Christmas Wrapping - The Waitresses
Some part of me says to leave this off the list and that I like it for the same reason that normal people like normal Christmas songs (tradition) but then I think how many christmas songs, or any songs, have sax anymore.
I hate living in a time where everyone is too damned cool to learn to play a horn

4)Father Christmas - The Kinks

3)Christmas at Kmart - Root Boy Slim and the Sex Change Band

2)Blue Christmas - Elvis / misfits

1)You’re A Mean One, Mr. Grinch - Thurle Ravenscroft(AKA the voice of Tony the Tiger) /Mojo Nixon

and now

5) The Ice Harvest - First of two Billy Bob Thorton Christmas movies on a list of 5. Not bad
Best line, "I'm not paying Bill Gerrard twenty five bucks to let some old pervert stare at my twat on Christmas eve"
Not many people saw this one. If you need a reason to download it here are four, tits,guns,money,booze

4) Die Hard
Fantastic action movie. The protagonist can't dodge bullets or run faster than an explosion. It makes what he does all the more badass.

3) Nightmare Before Christmas

Con - Favorite Christmas movie of every goth fucktard ever
PRO- One of my favorite movies period

2) Bad Santa
Best line,"FuckmeSantaFuckmeSantaFuckmeSantaFuckmeSanta"

and the winner is.........

1) A Christmas Story

Whether or not you want to admit it, this one is your favorite too

.

5 best

Sat, 19 Dec 2009 12:29:38 GMT

I've really kind of loathed Christmas since I've been an adult. I already didn't like it by the time I was a teenager, but at least I still got stuff from my parents. It's a time of the year when adults find it acceptable to act like stupid spoiled shit morons who believe in magic powers. Insult to injury they act civilly to one another which showcases the fact they know how not to be a shithead but do it anyway the whole rest of the year. The worst is the fat lonely cat ladies who have the good sense to keep to their own lonely the rest of the year think it is OK to talk to me.

If you are a stranger I probably don't want you to be nice to me. I probably want you to allow me passage unmolested. I generally don't like conversing with people of my own culture with whom I have little or nothing in common. There is a reason why we live in the same part of the same city and don't converse the whole rest of the year WE HAVE NOTHING TO TALK ABOUT. Everything associated with Christmas is some kind of shitty lie that people go along with because they think they're supposed to. Let's look at this, shall we?

1) Candy Canes

We have these the rest of the year and we all agree they suck. They suck so much restaurants give them away and no one takes them unless they want to hide the odor of garlic.

Because it is Christmas and they are cane shaped all of a sudden they DON'T SUCK

2) Christmas trees

Who came up with this asinine idea? Bring a TREE into the HOUSE. What does this have to do with ANYTHING?
Oh right the Druids thought it was a good idea. If you're going to hold on to some Druidic stuff how about HUMAN SACRIFICE

3) Christmas Cards

This one really really sucks and has apparently been abandoned by my generation for the most part. I like that. What more socially awkward situation is there to be in than to have a level discrepancy on people's "christmas card list" It's just a series of long mostly imagined slights waiting to happen.

4) Christmas Music

This is mostly music that sucks too much to be played the entire rest of the year.

Here are some examples:

White Christmas
Last Christmas - George Michael
Rudolph, The Red Nosed Reindeer
I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus
Jingle Bell Rock
Walking in a Winter Wonderland
3(Let it Snow) - Jessica Simpson
Frosty The Snowman
Grandma Got Runned Over by a Raindeer
Dogs Barking Jingle Bells
Regular Jingle Bells
Here Comes Santa Claus
Little Drummer Boy
The one where Alvin Wants a Hula Hoop and Hurts My Brain

You might even think you like some of these songs, but you don't. You have them sense memoried onto something else.

Imagine if you weren't really into St. Patrick's day, it's just not your thing. You don't really drink and you hate the pug nosed Mics and everything they stand for. Every year in late January everywhere you go they are playing Jefferson Starship over and over like it's perfectly fucking normal. You'd hate that shit. Every time you heard JS, you would hate them and St. patricks a little more. Grace Slick never sang again after Starship out of penance, but every year 20 douchebags try to make a christmas album to jumpstart the batteries of a career long neglected in the front yard, possibly even on blocks.

5) Family

How could this be bad, I ask rhetorically as the audience surrogate? Simple, not everyone has the kind of life they can drop and fly home to see people. Because of this they are usually labeled selfish or something. This doesn't happen on Groundhog's day it doesn't happen on Halloween and it is a big reason this holiday sucks. Everything is pressure and it's only like a month after Thanksgiving, so everyone with lives less interesting than Bill Gates and Tiger Woods is left with hmmm so the turkey seems bigger than the one for thanksgiving as table talk. This is also why thanksgiving is a bigger travel holiday than Christmas. All you have to do for thanksgiving is show up.

6) Secret Santa

Seriously can't we all just chip in and buy the cat ladies cat pictures and NOT do this?

7) Christmas Movies

Saving the best for last

Every Christmas movie is either based on complete shit or A Christmas Carrol. I think you can see how this would be irritating to non Christmas friendly people. The first is a group of shitty movies that people watch out of tradition (See Christmas music) or about how anyone who doesn't like Christmas is actually in some kind of denial and is only waiting for a Christmas miracle (or three ghosts depending on how ballsy/lazy the writer was) to be able to FULLY ENJOY CHRISTMAS LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, which is why I say HUMBUG whatever the flying fuck crazy curse-word that is supposed to represent.

List and descriptions taken from This Cocknozzle who seems to have gotten it right

5) Scrooge

Another direct take off on the Christmas Carrol plot, which at least uses good old Ebenezer

Just as everything that was written by Dickens it is an overrated turd

4) A Charlie Brown Christmas

Some argument could be made for this not being poison if the sound wasn't so damned bizarre.

3)White Christmas

The idea being there is nothing better that could happen than for it to snow. Why is it that people who love snow oh so much never live in places where it snows? I will give you three guesses and the first two don't count. The reason that the list is dominated by things of a bygone era is once a year we get together and pretend that the world used to be the way it used to be portrayed and if we all hope hard enough Tinkerbelle will come back to life and fix everything for us. Pictured Tinkerbelle's tits

2)It's a Wonderful Life

I never really got past the title of this one. I've never watched it purely out of spite for how much the networks used to run it, much like the way girls I hate intentionally never watched Star Wars

1)Miracle on 34th Street: Based on my research, this is the movie that tops the list for the most sought-after, most purchased Christmas movie of all time. It is about a young girl named Susan who has become somewhat "dwindled" in her Christmas spirit and has her doubts about the validity of Santa Claus, but comes around when she meets "the real thing".

How inherently depressing is that idea? I never watched this one either

He who knows the enemy and himself
Will never in a hundred battles be at risk;
He who does not know the enemy but knows himself
Will sometimes win and sometimes lose;
He who knows neither the enemy nor himself
Will be at risk in every battle.
Sun Tzu

After I get back from work I intend to make a best of list

Wait, Isn't Doc Carnage Your HALO Name?

Fri, 18 Dec 2009 07:08:20 GMT

Today Team Fortress 2 has been reduced to 10 dollars FOR THIS WEEKEND ONLY. Let's flow chart what you are thinking and why you are wrong and need to be punched.

http://store.steampowered.com/app/440/

I'm thinking about getting a second steam account and buying it again so my wife and I can play at the same time. It may be a couple years old but updates still happen all of the time.

If you don't get steam and buy this now, I officially hate you. Even not liking first person shooters is not a good excuse because only about half of the classes are played that way. Look at the machinima to get a feel for the classes

more under the cunt
http://store.steampowered.com/app/440/

http://store.steampowered.com/app/440/

There is one that showcased the medic and the heavy pretty well to the Turtles "So happy together" but now it is almost unfindable (which according to firefox spell check is in fact a word)

The reason it has been obscured is because according to the community they are now gay together and everyone wants to use "so happy together" as a boost for their stupid amateur video

http://forums.steampowered.com/forums/showthread.php?t=649323

http://store.steampowered.com/app/440/

Google Wave Invites

Thu, 17 Dec 2009 06:56:58 GMT

I have a lot of them. If you want one list the following and I will consider your application

1) 5 favorite movies
2) 5 favorite bands
3) 5 favorite historical figures
4) 5 favorite foods
5) 5 favorite video games

OPTIONAL EXTRA CREDIT

http://store.steampowered.com/news/3248/

Try this game for FREE

Team Fortress 2 Free Weekend - Starts Thursday - Pre-Load Now!
December 15, 2009, 7:09 pm - Valve - General Announcement

To celebrate the upcoming WAR! Update, Team Fortress 2 will be hosting a Free Weekend for players that don't already own the game. The event starts this Thursday night as soon as the update goes live. Play the full game for free including brand new maps, new special items and more!

Start pre-loading now and be ready to play as soon as the Free Weekend starts.

Requires that you have Steam installed.

BIG EDIT

Team Fortress 2 is now on sale for 10 dollars,

buy it fags!!!!!!

Wed, 16 Dec 2009 23:00:30 GMT

I was talking today to someone who was a technical advisor and also an extra on Transformers II earlier.
Being able to say something utterly retarded with a totally straight face is one of my more amusing abilities.

JTAC: I just wore the stuff I really wore last deployment, airforce something or other not listening, and a ball cap
Me: What is Optimus Prime like off camera?

This is almost as shit headed as me not walking literally 200 meters to meet Tito Ortiz yesterday. The only questions I would have for him would be about other fighters so I put it off and he left.

Before anyone asks we were not allowed to ask him about Jenna Jamison. They met on myspace. How did they know that they were really who they "were" and not a fan or an intern or something?

Either way it was really cool of him to come out to our little shithole of a base and they were running dudes through at warp speed two at a time by the time I found out about it.

There are perks to working the swing shift and their are cons. By the time I got shaved and whatnot they were done. Just to be clear through text: I am not pissed off about this. If it had been one of the fighters I like I would have been out the door in two minutes instead of fourty. I work 7 days a week and not much will get me up and going. If it wasn't almost time for me to go to work I wouldn't have gotten up at all

Another Asshole Who Takes LOLCATS 2 Seriouz

Wed, 16 Dec 2009 11:47:03 GMT

From http://muchedumbre.com/forum/index.php?action=printpage;topic=13754.0

Title: Re: semi-mandatory lolcats (the LOLTHREAD)
Post by: jaffe on October 12, 2007, 06:00:54 PM
Quote from: mybig on October 12, 2007, 05:42:58 PM
Which are the lame ones? Obviously whoever posts them find them funny.

While tastes can vary greatly in this art form, I find it can still be easy to discern between a Lame LOL Cat and a LOL Cat. For instance...

This:
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v342/Clintiskeen/lolcat.jpg)

Is lame. Notice the shitty font, boring graphic, and perfect grammar. An LOL Cat should be a delightful departure from the monotony of the day, forcing the brain to see the cat developed into a contextual anthropomorphic state. This cat may be exhibiting a human persona, but it is neither funny nor fun.

Little does he realize that "Lolcat" was an anti-lolcat and part of a fantastic troll I don't really ever ban people but sometimes the LULZ demand a ban like the bad spock person who gets banned in that post.

Other times people just don't know when to quit. In my 6+ years on LJ I have banned three people, this one from lolbums, That furry thing from the Jessica Lynch thread that commented relentlessly for three years and made the "ClintisMeen" journal, and the white power Prussian Blue website maintainer that commented 400 times in three days. At least I learned from them that even nazis can be cute, but kittens make everything better. I didn't even ban Nishar

I apologize for the Encylopedia dramatica esque overuse of link tags. I'll try not to do that again. I was googling myself again :( It also seems I've digressed from the point. Back to LOLCAT related stupidity!

Still my favorite lol-X

The rest of his post under the cut

This:
(http://i159.photobucket.com/albums/t148/Lillian96/lolcat7479619.jpg)

Is absolute shit. Probably someone's lame work at home mom blog.

This:

(http://www.yarnagogo.com/photos/uncategorized/2007/05/04/lolcat1.jpg)

At first, seems funny. Here we have a teensy kitty cuddling on his littermate, what could be cuter. And the text denotes a whimsical and wry devil may care sort of sorrow, certainly indicative of the LOL Cat concept. But the over bordered font (If the LOL is LOL-worthy, no such skullduggery is necessary to drive home the funny), grainy image, filthy kitten cage conditions, and generally oversized nature of the photo make it lame.

This:

(http://i30.photobucket.com/albums/c308/karihill74/schrodingers-lolcat.jpg)

Seems brilliant, and certainly made me LOL... The nature of the LOL Cat simultaneously misspelling common words and being silly in a box juxtaposed against advanced physics concepts is brilliance, yes? But the inability to appeal to a mass audience limits its punch. While certainly not deserving of the moniker "lame", it just does not give enough guffaw to transcend the ICanHasACheezeburger site and make its way here for display.

A similar fate is suffered here:

(http://www.chiark.greenend.org.uk/~andrewm/lolcat.jpg)

See, for an LOL Cat to be unlame, it needs to exhibit certain characteristics. It is more than just posting a picture of a cat in an empty twelver. It's got to be clean, and it has to make people ride the lollercoaster again and again. It need not be a cat, but if it is going to deviate, via Walrus, Taft, or other, it needs to be even FUNNIER than a cat would have been.

Sometimes, all elements can be there, cat, funny physical situation, relevant text, misspellings and/or poor grammar, and yet STILL, the effect is somewhat lame:

(http://tehmaze.com/media/img/ichc/128283754028906250NERGHIIZHATE.jpg)

These sorts of LOLCats are invariably created by women, because they are genetically dull and incapable of funny.

I hope this helps. I am always ready to discuss such important topics.

(Oh, and the one above this post? Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaame)

Something I Haven't Done in a Long TIme

Wed, 16 Dec 2009 09:37:01 GMT

When I started this journal 6 years ago two things I did regularly were prison pen pals, and bad LJ user icons.

Enjoy

http://www.writeaprisoner.com/template.aspx?i=z-x17339&m=1&f=1

Hi!

My name is Nicole but you can call me Nikke. I’m 23 and posting this ad in hopes of finding that special someone to make very happy. I’m seeking a relationship, long term if possible and willing to relocate for the right man. Age and race aren’t significant, what matters is what’s on the inside and hopefully, over time, you’ll see that my true beauty lies within me.

My life of leisure was filled with a wide array of activities because I’m always willing to try new things. I love surfing, riding ATV’s, dirt bikes, anything fast because it makes me feel alive. I’m spontaneous and try to keep up with my curiosity and things that fascinate me. Staying adventurous and daring made life more enjoyable. I also stayed home to watch flicks, bake sweets (I love brownies with extra chocolate chips), scrap book memories and pictures, lounge by the pool, listen to music, read a good, non-fiction book or some poetry.

Despite staying active my love life’s pretty non-existent. I firmly believed I was born to walk through life alone. Since my incarceration at the age of 17 I’ve come to realize that couldn’t be further from the truth. I want to share myself and bestow everything I have to offer that special person. So here I am, hoping I don’t miss out on love because I’m ready for it, now more than ever. So if you’re reading hit me up! I’ll be waiting for you…

Crime: MURDER

http://writeaprisoner.com/Template.aspx?i=z-4966

ISO SENIORS FREINDSHIP, TLC=LTR

Welcome to my world. It’s time to sweeten our life, and let the good times roll. Don’t let me being incarcerated scare you off.

I’m Rebecca, a sweet, 68 year old widow, Christian, a one man woman, honest, funny, loving, affectionate, frisky, playful, cheerful, optimistic, have high morals and values and much more. I have nothing to hide or lie about.

If you are looking for a woman with a smoky hot body [ewwwww -Clint], slender at 125 pounds, 36-26-36, blonde, I am here. I aim to please and love to lift my man’s spirit and make him feel special. I love to take care of my man to the best of my ability. I mean the best, in any way I can be there for you. When it comes to romance, love and lust I can rock your world. We will have a blast.[Seriously ewww]

I have a lot to offer any man. I’m strong, have lots of interests. I don’t drink or smoke, no drugs or diseases.

I do not wish to bore you so feel free to write yourself. Let’s see if we are compatible and what develops. Photos are welcome and please make sure you put your full name and address on the envelope to insure I get your letter. I hope to hear from you and “Let the good times roll”.

Sincerely,

Rebecca Kincer

Crime: MURDER

Discuss

Tue, 15 Dec 2009 08:10:39 GMT